Out of Context - Condensed

I’ve been having a particularly poignant past few days due to reasons that only the people I’ve talked about know. I’ve done my best to hide this fact but some sharp people have caught on, and have started bugging me about it. Of course I’ve downplayed its significance so as not to worry them, and instead taken a lot more activities to try and distract myself. 

Actually, I have recognized that having these kinds of feelings from time to time are healthy, so I allowed it, even encouraged it by putting on really depressing music (ie: Urbandub) to help speed the process.

However, the world seems to not agree with it.

First there was yesterday, where I went to Manila for a small meeting, and two of my friends volunteered to guide me around since I have no idea where to go. After the meeting, I was planning on going home, but was somehow convinced to help out in setting up for an event. Later on I seemed to have forgotten how I’m supposed to feel in the midst of streaming and casting Starcraft games. Having fun with my bros and even got a free meal out of it.

I went home, at 3am. Prepared to make up my moping the next day.

Then I wake up and remember that I promised to attend a meeting for our local group, which I did (barely making it) and ended up hanging around with another set of two friends, walking around in town and generally hanging around, eventually meeting up with the rest and doing some shenanigans.  

It’s unreal, Here I am trying my best to feel sad, but it’s like the more I want to feel sad, the more the world attracts fun stuff happening for me. I’ve spent the last two days like some protagonist in a slice-of-life anime having generally carefree fun as if I there’s no problems at all.

Speaking of Anime, another friend of mine just called me up out of the blue as I was typing the previous paragraph and offered to give me some anime stuff. I was really confused, but just agreed, thankful for the free awesome stuff.

Seriously, it feels weird, wanting to be sad but the world saying, NO, Judes. BE HAPPY.

Well, if that’s the case, 

Sigh.

I guess I just have to go back to being awesome.